FRAUD WATCH: THE UGLYSTEPSISTERS OF MARCH

FRAUD WATCH: THE UGLY STEP SISTERS OF MARCH

Good evening ladies and gents. It's the best time of the year folks, the sports gods have blessed us yet again. So like last year, I’m here to call out all the fraudulent teams of March. The Cinderellas will have their time, but this is about the ugly step sisters. I’d like to say that last year I was on Michigan State, this year they are hot. Some say I was just looking ahead at the potential. Some are also saying that my 2024 article was complete bullshit, well like one man said “name one genius who ain't crazy” Let's get into this, shall we?

Disclaimer: this is all based on my eye test

• #4 Texas A&M

Texas A&M? Basketball? Not a chance man. The Aggies are the worst shooting team in the SEC, what does Yale like to do? Push their opponents to the outside and force them to take the long ball. Recipe for disaster. This Yale team plays fundamental ball, something that seems lost in this day and age. The Bulldogs rebound well, take care of the ball and play elite level defense. The moment A&M starts bricking shit, it's over. Yale will slam the door on these boys and send them packing. Result: Bulldogs by 100

• #4 Arizona

Something about the Zips in March. Where this Arizona team dominates down low, they lack guarding the deep shot. Akron is a top 10 three point shooting team, when they get hot, they are going to be unguardable. I think once they start pushing the tempo and moving the ball around, Arizona will get flustered and start slipping up. You know who else is from Akron? The GOAT; Lebron Raymone James. Coincidence? Doubt it. Result: Akron bounces Arizona first weekend

• #3 Kentucky

I think Kentucky has some flaws to them, things that Illinois can expose. Illinois can bang down low with the best of them, and can distribute effectively. Not to mention, Mark Pope? You seen that guy? You had coach Cal and now this guy? Bad look for the Cats if you ask me. Kentucky hasn't made it past the first weekend since 2019. That was before Covid folks. And you think Pope is gonna lead them to the promise land? Sorry Mr Bacon and any other Cat fans out there. You won’t be doing it this year either. Result: Illinois takes the Cats out back and puts them out of their misery.

• #3 Iowa State

Look, I know this is gonna upset some of my friends, family, maybe some colleagues too. But you all know deep down this team isn’t doing it. Don’t get me wrong, some of you may have heard me earlier this year saying they might have a team to make it to the final four. But what has happened to them to end the year, nightmares. Keshon Gilbert; done for the year. Lipsey; battling injuries. This team is cracking at the seams and is on heavy fraud watch per my analysts. Plus, Dishon Jackson cuts his dreads in February? You can’t be making a big decision like that at this time. The Cyclones don’t have their mind right for March. Result: The Bisons of Lipscomb upset the Cyclones in Milwaukee. 

If you want my references, I called the UMBC over Virginia upset in 2018 and Abilene Christian over Texas in 2021. That’s all the proof I need to be writing this. 3/16/2025